[geeks] Java as a first language

[Robert Brooke Gravitt]

On Nov 10, 2006, at 10:55 PM, Jonathan C. Patschke wrote:

> If I could cash all the ones I've experienced in my short career at a
> dime each, I could probably retire already.

Amen. [0]

> J2EE gigs just make me want to scream and tear my hair out.

I actually heard a PM at ( ${PROJECT} - 5 ) exclaim "Maybe we need  
more J2EEs!"
I was like, WTF? That doesn't even make sense! Do you just say things  
to hear yourself talk?
Maybe we need more mega-hurtz & giggle-bytes, too.

> J2EE can -probably- be done well.  I've written a couple small  
> servlets,
> and they're about as much fun to write as CGIs, only without all the
> environment mangling.  They're not horrible.

Java can be done well. Alas, there are, apparently, only 5 people at any
given time on the planet who are allowed to write clean, speedy, and
concise Java code. Every time someone achieves Java enlightenment,
the oldest of the 5 must be killed.

> But, again, J2EE lends itself to the sort of thinking where, rather  
> than
> writing simple code, you go out and buy "components" that don't quite
> fit in to the application and then spend forever trying to write a  
> shim
> in-between them.

Ugh. We have 2 large projects right now using 3rd party "miracle"  
components. One
has _never_ worked properly, despite have 2 of their own engineers,  
*on site*,
for the last 18 months.

The other has been in development for 7 months and the app won't stay up
for more than about an hour before leaking enough memory that the app  
server
falls over. Leaves a staggering number of heapdumps & javacores  
around, too.


> I came to find out after the fact that IBM told $employer not to buy
> Content Manager.  It was, far and away, the wrong tool for the job,
> since we already had our metadata in-hand, and IBM didn't want to come
> away with a black eye on a potentially high-profile project.  Now, if
> you've ever dealt with IBM sales, you know that when the IBM  
> salesdroid
> says "please, Mr. Customer, don't buy our product," it's going to be a
> trainwreck to remember if you actually do try to implement it.

${WORK} is an IBM strategic partner. We have a sizable amount of  
cool, wicked, fun IBM
kit. POWER everywhere, AIX goodness - Mainframe, midrange, etc.
That is the fun part. The part that makes me want to kill myself is  
having to use Lotus Notes.

Know what language Notes is written in? You guessed it, Java. Notes &  
Sun's damn Solaris
Java installer thingy are the reasons why God[1] kills kittens.

  Why can the two largest Java vendors on the planet not release  
applications written in said
language that do not suck donkey balls[2]?

--Brooke

[0] I don't even believe in God, so this underlines how much  
agreement we are in. May I add Hallelujah?

[1] If I did believe, I'd be pretty sure His wrath is directly  
related to Lotus Notes.

[2] Big, big, sweaty ones.