[geeks] Sysadmins.

[Bill Bradford]

On April 21 1998, curious.person at internet.com asked:
> Dogbyte most wise and wonderful,
>       I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut,
> a fireman, or a system administrator?
>

This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were
just made to answer:

PURPOSE OF YOUR CAREER
Astronaut:  Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
Fireman:    Saving lives and property.
Sysadmin:   Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.

ADVICE YOU'LL GIVE KIDS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS
Astronaut:  "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Fireman:    "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Sysadmin:   "DON'T DO IT!  RUN AWAY!"

QUESTION YOU'LL BE MOST TIRED OF ANSWERING
Astronaut:  "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
Fireman:    "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
Sysadmin:   "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been
             getting?"

WILL YOU EVER BE ON TV?
Astronaut:  Yes!
Fireman:    Occasionally.
Sysadmin:   Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as
            TV.

WILL YOUR JOB EVER GET ANY EASIER?
Astronaut:  As computers get more and more advanced and able to control
            more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
Fireman:    As more and more people install smoke detectors in their
            homes, yes.
Sysadmin:   As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet,
            absolutely not.

INSPIRING MOVIE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:  "The Right Stuff"
Fireman:    "Backdraft"
Sysadmin:   Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?

YOUR WORK HOURS
Astronaut:  Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of
            time between missions to relax.
Fireman:    24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
Sysadmin:   Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like
            "work millenia."

FRINGE BENEFITS OF YOUR JOB
Astronaut:  Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
            opposite sex.
Fireman:    Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
            opposite sex.
Sysadmin:   You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."

NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:  A few, from people who think the government should be
            spending its money in different ways.
Fireman:    A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive
            following a 911 call.
Sysadmin:   You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able
            to count them all.

YOUR VEHICLE
Astronaut:  Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar
            rocket.
Fireman:    Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
Sysadmin:   1978 AMC Gremlin.

In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in
even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.

-- 
Bill Bradford
mrbill at mrbill.net
Austin, TX