[geeks] Clerks and Cars

[Chris Byrne]

>I'd agree with the 4-door comment.  I used to laugh at them too - until I
>got totally embarressed by a 4-door Cutlas.  2 doors, 4 doors, it's engine
>that matters :)

Firstly, I didn't think there were any four door cutlasses. I could swear
that the four door model was always the 88

I've had three bigass GM drag cars in ascending order of uncoolness

'69 Camaro, tubbed and back halved, with cage
396 With Aluminium heads and 2.02/1.60 valves
Domed Keith black pistons
Dual dominators on a custom Holley NOS manifold with custom isky cam
(ridiculous duration and lift with the domed pistons)
Reduced friction gear drive valve train from ... damned, that guy who does
the kick ass Buick's, cant remember his name....
Fully honed, bored, blueprinted matched etc... everything
NOS Pro fogger
Full MSI electrical system
Three speed crash box (four levers, one for each gear, and one for
park/reverse)
Dana backend with ARB
4.11 Richmond's
Mickey Thompson's all around

My friend and I built this bad boy when I was about 16. It got about 5 mpg,
and that was running 94 with 104+, but it could break into the 10's so it
was worth it.
The best part is, we bought the original Camaro for $500 in damn near new
mechanical condition, but with no paint and a rotted interior. It was a
perfect platform for a drag car.


1984 Monte Carlo RS
350, kitted out to 383
Edelbrock heads, 2.02-160 with matched cam
Holley EFI kit
Accell electronic ignition and engine management system
Transpacked and cross welded TH700R4
Pro locker with Richmond 3.89s in original housing
Tons of chassis bracing

This was SUPPOSED to be the Luxo Barge version of the Monte, but It could
pull into the low 13's with no sweat, and man could it cruise on the
highway. It wasn't really a track machine or I would have put 4.11's in it,
this one was more the long distance cruiser. I once took it from Milton
Massachusetts, to Moultonborough NH, a distance of about 130 miles (10 of it
going through Boston, and 20 of it on two lane country roads), in 74
minutes. Thank god for radar detectors.

1981 Old Delta 88 regency brougham
Completely gutted interior replaced with aluminium panels, two fibreglass
buckets, and a 2" cage
Completely gutted everything that could be removed and drilled or cut
everything else
Welded the back doors shut and barred them
502 Tow Truck engine base, fully blueprinted and cross welded by a guy who
builds race boat engines
Custom forged matched crank, rods, and pistons
Twin dominators bored out to 1700 with high pressure fuel system and matched
cam for NOS
Lenco
Custom welded back end with centre unit from a tow truck, Detroit locker and
4.11s
NOS Pro fogger with progressive controller

I never got a chance to race this one, I ended up selling it because I was
moving. We never dynoed it, but I'm guessing that dry, it was something like
700 horse, and on the bottle it was putting out something on the order of
1300 horse. With all the gutting we did, we took a 3800lb car, and made it
into a 2900 lb car. This was to be the car that would break into the 9
second range if we ever decided to do that.

But the best part of this thing was, we left the original powder blue paint,
chrome trim, and landau top on it, and put these cheesy wheel covers over
the solid drag wheels, so from 30 or 40 feet away you couldn't actually tell
it was a drag car except for the bulging hood.


Chris Byrne