[geeks] quiet

[Kris Kirby]

On Wed, 5 Jun 2002, Amy wrote:
> turn there's something electronic thats leashing me to here or there, be
> it the friends I have online who won't let me go eat dinner without
> guilting me later or cellphones and pagers interrupting the quiet times at
> home.

vacation.

> It's not that I dislike or hate computers/collecting...I've just
> become disenchanted with the people I've found inhabiting them. I can
> count with pretty much one hand the amount of people I have any sort of
> faith left in--something which I value above all other things. They're
> all thousands of miles away, too.

> 3. I've been trying to simplify things in my life..from thoughts to
> actions to material things. It's left me with a strange wish to just get
> in my car and disappear off the face of the planet for awhile. Obviously I
> can't do this--it's just not feasible. What worries me is that I'm not one
> to actively tell the world to go fsck itself and avoid it all for a time.
> It's just unusual and worrisome. It only happens when I'm fed up to the
> hilt with chaotic things that are going on and I can't find the source.

vacation.

> 4. In the past 60 days I've figured out that I've screwed away ten years,
> countless friends, family..all for the sake of a simple chemical
> imbalance. Now I wonder how much damage did I do and how much is
> repairable, if any? It left me thinking this about my current friends, my
> husband, my family. How does one apologize for being a Jeykll and Hyde
> bitch for a decade? 20-20 hindsight is getting to me. I don't know anymore
> how to approach people who knew me (online or otherwise) before all this
> occured. Imagine starting at square one again with everyone--including
> yourself. It's not easy and very confusing. I don't know who i should
> talk to, if I should talk to them, if I'm bothering them or not. And to
> top it all off, I literally don't know who I am anymore.

The past is, unfortunatly, done. Try to salvage what you can and go on
building bridges as you need them. As you come to a burnt bridge, explain,
rebuild, move on. Live for the future, or now.

> 5. I'm really tired of pickles and diet coke.

I don't know what to tell you about the diet -- were you ordered to loose
weight, or did it yourself? This repreve hasn't granted you the results
you'd explected...

--
Kris Kirby, KE4AHR          | TGIFreeBSD... 'Nuff said.
<kris at nospam.catonic.net>   | IM: KrisBSD | HSV, AL.
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"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony."