Bad things happen guy was RE: [geeks] New guitar.

Chris Byrne chris at chrisbyrne.com
Mon Apr 15 14:03:24 CDT 2002


> -----Original Message-----
> From: Bill Bradford

> Fire on the 19th?  What are you, "bad things happening"-guy? 8-)

Ummm, yes actually I am ;-) Honestly. Here's a brief summary so far

1977 Born two months premature unable to breathe. spend two months in oxygen
tent
1979 Parents have messy divorce, brother born two months premature with a
seizure disorder
1980 Fall down 30 foot long flight of stairs shattering both collar bones.
Spend 1 year in shoulder back brace
1982 Mother develops breast and throat cancer
1982 See my father for the last time in 15 years. Nearly beaten to death by
moms abusive boyfriend
1983 Brother has massive seizure rendering him incapable of speech for three
months
1984 Mother nearly dies from cancer for the first time
1985 My alcoholic coke addict aunt Maureen moves in and promptly attempts
suicide
1986 Schools discover I'm smarter than everyone in town. first court ordered
therapy begins. I spend the entire time fucking with the therapists mind
1987 Mother nearly dies from cancer for the second time. Father goes to
prison
1990 Kill two older kids in a street fight. Second court ordered therapy
begins. I spend the entire time fucking with the therapists mind
1991 Mother nearly dies form cancer third time. Aunt Maureen tries to commit
suicide again. I had to stop her and take her to the hospital in her own car
1993 Break kids neck in school fight. Third court ordered therapy begins. I
spend the entire time fucking with the therapists mind. Am expelled from
school. Take SAT's and equivalency exam. Get accepted to great college.
Start college and get mono.
1994 Mother nearly dies from cancer fourth time. Father gets out of prison.
Massive car accident. First case of identity theft ruining my credit record
1995 Get engaged. December Fith get food poisoning, get fired from job, get
kicked out of my apartment, have motorcycle accident and fiancee kills
herself all in same day
1996 Truck Imp driving in blows up. On my 19th birthday my brother burns my
house down. On December fifth my grandfather dies (he was my only father)
1997 College refuses to let me graduate. I receive credit for all the
classes but they don't award my degrees. Say I need 21 more credit hours
because I tested out of too many classes and missed too many class session.
They really just want another 25 grand from me. Employer goes out of
business. Car I'm driving in blows up.
1998 Get screwed out of millions for the first time. Mom almost dies from
cancer fifth time
1999 Get married. Screwed out of millions for the second time
2000 Move to California. Screwed out of millions for the third time. Lose
250k in stock market.
2001 Marriage breaks up. Screwed out of millions for the fourth time. Dad
and mom both nearly die from cancer (find out on my birthday). Move to
Ireland and lose most of the rest of my money trying to keep a business
alive while my partners are actively trying to kill it. Lose all equity in
my condo and my car gets seized. Investigated in connection with bogus rape
charge because a girl didn't want to admit to her parents she had consensual
sex with a friend of mine. Girlfriend goes psycho and starts stalking me.
2002 New girlfriend gets kidnapped by her own family to keep her away from
me. Lose rest of my money trying to float freelance business. Get stiffed on
30k in contracts and business goes under again. Landlord harasses me into
moving so he can sell the place. I go completely broke (I have a total of
?6.97 left. I'm serious that's all the money I have in the world right now).
Mom nearly dies again from cancer. She's paralysed from L5 down and has no
feeling in her legs. Everything else is in excruciating pain all the time.

I know I've missed a LOT of stuff, but that's most of the big stuff. So
yeah, I'm the bad things happens guy ;-) But then again I've had lots of
great things happen, and who knows what's going to happen just around the
corner right. Through it all I've done ten times more stuff then most people
will ever get to, and had ten times more fun.

OK Amy, commence ripping me to shreds ;-)

Chris Byrne



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