[geeks] What not to do..

[Dave McGuire]

  This is a fucking work of ART!

      -Dave

On April 2, Bill Bradford wrote:
> Saw this on Lowbrow (www.lowbrow.com - you'll get addicted) and just
> HAD to pass it on:
> 
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> One day I made the mistake of admitting that I eat meat on a P.C.
> mailing list, and some vegan created the subject line of a thread to
> reflect disgust with me, complete with my name spelled wrong and a
> "blecch" emoticon. That subject line persisted for almost two months!
> Longest-lived thread I'd ever seen!
> 
> Well, after repeated polite requests to change the subject line, I
> finally got fed up (on sirloin and beer, I believe...) and posted the
> following:
> 
> ====
> 
> Okay, fine. I eat filth. I eat everything in sight and I look like
> Jabba the Hut. I also pick my nose in the car next to you at the stop
> light. I fart in elevators. I was the one who used the last of the TP
> and didn't replace the roll. The IRS was my idea, and so was Y2K. The
> gum you just stepped in was mine, and if you picked it off with your
> fingers, I have the flu. I drained your car battery and let the air out
> of your tire late at night in the rain. I'm ahead of you in the
> cash-only express line at the grocery store and it's my pleasure to get
> price checks on every one of the 45 items I've carefully selected which
> have neither price tags nor scannable bar codes, argue with the manager
> about how many coupons I can use for a pack of Certs, then pay with a
> credit card which is no good. I remove every "Do Not Remove This Tag"
> tag I see, and litter them about on the floor. I run with scissors and
> don't play well with others, nor do I use my time wisely. I pull the
> wings off butterflies to stop the "Butterfly Effect" and speed global 
> warming. I teach science to American students. I put the eyelash in your 
> eye and made you bite your tongue; your funny bone is very funny to me. 
> I overdrew your checking account and charged your credit card payments 
> to the card with 21% interest and no grace period. I am the source of 
> all junk mail, and when the occasional letter carrier discovers the 
> truth, I make him go, well, postal. I design child safety seats, war 
> toys, anorexic fashion dolls, and I'm just finishing up a book "Extreme 
> Parenting: Pushing Your Child 23 Hours a Day for Success!" I park 
> sideways across both handicapped spaces. I told Saddam that nukes are 
> just like really big fireflies and are a really good solution to the 
> recycling problem just after I assured Mr. Gates that everyone would 
> love to pay a yearly fee for the privilege of using a buggy pseudo 
> operating system. I took Barney's 13-strand DNA and made the 
> Teletubbies. Pleased to meet you, I'm the Beast and proud of it. 
> 
> Two of those sentences are true. Change the damn subject line.
> 
> ====
> 
> That served to transmute the thread into a discussion of conspiracy
> theories, of all things!
> 
> - kthernandez at hotmail.com
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> -- 
> Bill Bradford
> mrbill at mrbill.net
> Austin, TX
> _______________________________________________
> GEEKS:  http://www.sunhelp.org/mailman/listinfo/geeks
> 

-- 
Dave McGuire                    "...it's leaving me this unpleasant,
St. Petersburg, FL                 damp feeling on my shorts..." -Sridhar