[SunRescue] good news

[DaveMcGuiremcguire at neurotica.com]

On October 1, Bill Bradford wrote:
> > LOL- only problem with that theory, is that we all have MORE of the stuff than
> > we used to.
> 
> You must not be married or have a live-in girlfriend. 8-)
> 
> Dave McG - are you single or "otherwise occupied"?  I"ve always wondered if
> you had someone behind the scenes going "NO!  NOT ANOTHER CRAY!  NOT A SINGLE
> ONE!" 8-)

  I'm just passing the six-month mark dating Ruby, your basic
lifetime-of-dreams-come-true-all-rolled-up-into-one type of lady.
We're not quite to the point of sharing a house (I live alone in a
medium-sized house), but when we do, it'll have to be a big one.
She's not really into the stuff that I'm into, but she understands
that it's important to me and is a major (and I mean MAJOR) part of my
personal and professional life.

  I must say, though, that this is an issue that I feel very strongly
about.  As a matter of fact, my fingers are just itching to go off on
a tirade on the subject.

  If I married someone and they turned around and said "you've got to
get rid of all this stuff!" I'd wonder why that person was involved
with me in the first place.  Someone who wants me to curtail my
technical activities quite simply wants me to be a different person
than who I am.  Now, I don't pretend to have all the answers, but that
CANNOT be what relationships are all about.  It simply cannot!

  When cohabitating with a girlfriend (which I've done twice), I make
every reasonable effort to be considerate and keep my stuff out of her
way.  No PDPs in the front hallway, for example.  But the first time I
hear anything like "don't bring home any more computer stuff!" or
anything of the sort, the relationship is over on the spot...no
questions asked.  Just to be a hardass?  Definitely not.  The point
is, someone who wants me not to be a technogeek surrounded by my
technogeek stuff, wants SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHO I AM...it's as simple
as that.

  Ruby, it seems, loves me for who I am...ALL of who I am, including my
old goodies like PDP11s, VAXen and Cray YMP/EL, my newer big whoppers
like my SGIs and my Cray J90, and the drum kit and the electron
microscope in the living room.  And the same goes for how I feel about
her right on down to her vegetarianism, her professionality, her
artistic pursuits, and even her 2-year-old son.  The minute that
changes, she and I have no business being together.

  One CANNOT pick & choose the "favorable" attributes of a life partner
and force the "unfavorable" ones out of existence.  We are PEOPLE, not
Lego sets.  We're atomic, self-contained, and indivisible.  Maybe I'm
being too idealistic, but I truly believe this to be true.

  Guys...let those wives know that this "junk" (Christ, what an
insulting but _frequently used_ word!) is important to you...no matter
what they think of it.  Marriage doesn't have to mean "sacrifice the
stuff that you like".  Compromise?  Of course!  But sacrifice?


               Respectfully,
               -Dave McGuire