[geeks] baby stuff

[Amy]

On Fri, 28 Jun 2002, Beth Roberts wrote:
> <ObUnsolicitedParentingAdvice>
> As the parent of a very bright and shall we say, "independent-minded" child,
> I would like to step forward and state that it's definitely one of those
> things that *looks* a hell of a lot easier from the outside than it really
> is.

Personally I never found keeping a child civil or quiet (but not breaking
their spirit) difficult, and I was once responsible for not one, but
twenty-two three year olds and a passel of two's.

> That said, when I'm out in public with my daughter and she's being annoying
> / naughty / inconsolable / downright pissy, I use the following technique:

<snip>

Unfortunately, I really think a lot of parents give a little too much.
Kids need to have boundaries in their heads as to what they can do, can't
do, and know firmly that mom/dad/nanny/adult's word is law and not to be
argued with. If nothing else it gets them used to the real world
(practical, no? Since when do any of us get everything we want?). I'm
never mean, never harsh..but I will say that years of training dogs
helped. Maybe it's the command tone of voice, who knows.

My stepbrother's 8. A very smart, spoiled, whiny, undisciplined 8. I'm the
only one he minds out of the 8 adults that he comes into close contact
with. Not out of fear but out of respect. He knows that I won't
budge when he starts the whining and carrying on, unlike his parents, who
give him everything at the drop of a hat. As a result, when I come home,
he's all over me and wants to please and to be good. In reward he gets to
know that he's been good and feel better for it without the material
aspect of it all. There's no 'If you're good you get a twenty-dollar bill or
a cookie' stuff goin' on when I come home.

> I am thoroughly amazed at people who can successfully wrangle multiple
> children in a crowded capitalistic maelstrom. Really.

When we went to DisneyWorld a few years ago, I was real proud of how
Rugrat (this is my nickname for Christopher and he seems to like it)
acted. He only got tired and balky once (and by that time I was tired and
balky too after walking all over tarnation) when his Mom wanted to go on
Splash Mountain.

He started to whine and then saw me, hushed, and said, 'Mom, can I please
sit here with Amy instead while you go on Splash Mountain?' and his Mom
about fell over from the shock. When he asked me why she looked so odd
when he said that, I explained that he was beginning to act like an adult
and being polite and she was pleased and surprised with how mature he
acted. He looked happy with himself and started talking about Country
Bear Jamboree...

*shrug* Then we got drenched in spray-water from the ride.

> Those marketing and advertising bastards have us all outgunned - all those
> bright colors, child-friendly drugs (sugar, caffeine, pringle's [tm],
> cartoon characters)

I've never seen a kid that'll choose Nintendo over making mud pies.
There's something reassuring about dirt and water, I think. :)

--a