[geeks] Amy

[Bill Bradford]

On Fri, Jun 21, 2002 at 03:36:58PM -0400, Rob wrote:
> Did we offend her in some way?
> - Rob

(first off, my apologies for not responding to this sooner, but
 its been bouncing around in my head for a few days..)

Not you, no, and not the majority of the list.  However ...

There is an old saying saying that goes something like 
"a few bad eggs can spoil a whole bunch".  

For as long as i can recall, Amy's had access to my email, 
i've had access to her mail, she reads mine, I read hers, 
we dont care.

A few days ago, she was under the impression that the entire
Brian Hechinger affair was over and done with.  Then, she read my
mail and saw where he had emailed me privately, both slandering
her and accusing her of things she had not done, and well, he
was just being a complete dick.

In one of his mails, he pointed out that (to paraphrase),
"Amy tends to pull rank, because she sleeps with you".  This did
not make sense to her (or myself), as:

1.  When she came back to geeks@, she came back under an "unofficial"
    capacity, to have fun and talk to people, not to act as a "list cop",
    etc.  Nobody seemed to understand this.  The fact that we are husband
    and wife has no bearing on anything.

2.  She has no need to pull rank, as she not only has root on the machine
    itself, contrary to what most people think, she knows how to use it.
    If she didnt like someone, she'd just unsubscribe them, instead
    of bickering with them on the list.  Very efficient like that...

Brian said some really mean things, and they really hurt her.  

Of all people, I, for one, see how much she has changed recently.  People on
these lists do not see this, because they dont know her personally (well,
other than maybe Steven Hill, who we meet up with for BBQ every couple of
weeks).  She'd been very happy the past couple of months, because she felt
better, was no longer angry at everything under the sun (which is not an
exaggeration), and outside of a few things, everything was going well.

Then, she sees where one asshole decides to call her nothing more than a 
fucktoy and the list admin's piece of ass.  She got very depressed, and 
eventually woke me up in the middle of the night and said "I'm afraid I 
cant be part of your life anymore".  Her reasoning was that if one person 
thought this, other people thought the same thing, but were not saying it.

In the midst of all this, there were some new arrivals to the list.  
She doesent feel comfortable around them either.  However, it would
be unfair to start dictating who and who cannot be on a public mailing
list simply because of whom she does and does not like or does not feel
comfortable around.

So, she left.  She's no longer on any of the lists that I run. 

Personally, I'm fed up with the whole list politics bullshit.  I'm tired
of having to repeat requests to people who want to bicker instead of 
listening to polite requests that I have about what is discussed on 
these lists.  I'm getting really burnt out.  

Sometimes I get great things from these lists (friends, interactions, etc); 
sometimes I just get nothing BUT A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS and people insulting
my wife.  Given the situation, I think I've been very civil and polite.

Bill

-- 
Bill Bradford     
mrbill at mrbill.net 
Austin, TX