[geeks] what is the world coming to...

[Jonathan C. Patschke]

On Wed, 10 Apr 2002, Joshua D Boyd wrote:

> I don't see what is so hard about using a cell phone in a car.  I've never
> had any trouble, and I don't even bother with those new fangled hands free
> thingies.

Short answer: "morons"

Long answer:
  1) Some people simply do not possess the mental bandwidth to be talking
     on the phone and driving at the same time.  In actuality, these
     people shouldn't be driving anyway, but "it's a free country".
     You'll usually see these folks driving in the imaginary "moron" lane
     somewhere between the two actual "normal" lanes while they're
     thinking about whether that girl at the Wendy's take-out window was
     wearing a bra or not.
  2) Some people can't drive for shit, and couldn't drive for shit if you 
     drew arrows on the road and put up signs that said "brake now". These
     are the people that failed the -written- portion of the driver's
     test[1] and have a mental breakdown at a four-way stop.
     Occasionally, you'll see these folks hauling-ass in the wrong
     direction on a divided highway.
  3) Some people haven't perfected the art of lifting the shoulder to hold
     the phone, and invariably pick the wrong hand to hold the phone
     (right, if driving a standard-shift; left, if driving an automatic,
     but holding the phone to their right ear), completely ruining their
     ability to operate their vehicles safely.
  4) Any morons I've forgotten about.

So, it might be okay for -you- to use a phone in your car.  But I've seen
a lot of people who really shouldn't because they're morons.  I'm close to
a type-1 moron when I'm not in top shape, so I don't phone while I'm in
the car unless I have to.  ATM, I don't have a mobile phone, and I really
don't miss it.

--Jonathan
[1] Which, in Texas basically consists of multiple-choice questions
    along the lines of "what is the difference between a flashing red
    light, and a flashing amber light?" and "what is the maximum speed you
    should drive in a 50mph speed zone during fair conditions with clear
    visibility and light traffic?"