[geeks] FWD: [investigations at netauthority.org: Notification of Internet Violations]

Sat Jun 23 14:43:46 CDT 2001

There is one link in particular that is pure pop up hell, I forget which one
because about 10 of them poppped up before I killed IE to get out :(.

Gil Young
Call Sign: KG4KVX
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----- Original Message -----
From: Jonathan Katz <jon at jonworld.com>
To: <geeks at sunhelp.org>
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2001 12:35 PM
Subject: Re: [geeks] FWD: [investigations at netauthority.org: Notification of
Internet Violations]

> Mike wrote:
> > Damnit Jon! I just snarfed milk all over my laptop!
>
> At least it wasn't Diet Coke *points at Bill*
>
> > So just what goat picture did they not like? :)
>
> *shrug* they nailed goats.com earlier this week, so I figure
> one of my acquaintainces via the goats mailing lists submitted
> me thinking I'd fall for it. I think some of my random quotes
> which pop up probably got to them. My main site is pretty
> tame. The journal I keep is a bit more racy, but still *shrug*
>
> Just for fun, I'll post all the "random" sayings here so
> you don't have to hit "reload" at http://jonworld.com too
> often. They probably belong on "jokes@" but these are
> geeky jokes for the most part. I've de-html'd them for the
> most part.
>
> 0 "Linux is only free if your time is worthless."
> 1 "... climbed these city walls only to be with you... and I still haven't
found what I'm looking for."
> 2 "I am not a crook!"
> 3 "Thee meek may inherit the earth. The rest of us will seize the stars."
> 4 "They aren't going to make a book 'e10k administration for dummies'!"
> 5 "... you only want the ones you can't have, Desperado ..."
> 6 "My daemon beat up your penguin!"
> 7 "I've got seven women on my mind... 4 that want to stone me, 2 that want
to own me. One says she's a friend of mine."
> 8 "Your assignment is to get a date with someone in your next class!"
> "There are no chicks in my COBOL class, dude!"
> 9 "Your life is such a shame, shame, shame... Your love is such a dream,
dream, dream."
> 10 "I try not to let my drug-dealing interfere with my study-habits."
> 11 "FLOPS per cubic foot... that's how I want to buy my computers!"
> 12 "I want to go to a normal high school! One with pregnant cheerleaders
and metal detectors!"
> 13 "What am I supposed to do with a computer so primitive it can't read my
thoughtwaves?"
> 14 "It's a Harley... a Harley compatible."
> 15 "Corrupting Indiana's finest young women since 1991!"
> 16 "It's 2am there's 4000 lines of code, eight pieces of hardware; it's
six hours til I have to be awake, it's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses." --
Kira Brown
> 17 "Mhz is the benchmark for childhood head injury victims... you will
notice they never mention SPECrate or anything!"
> 18 "Disproving myths about Corvette owners one girl at a time since 1998."
> 19 "I smell like an ashtray owned by the Greatful Dead."
> 20 "I personally would like to die with the experience of booting a PDP-8
from the front panel." - <Kp2>
> 21 "Happiness is drinking other people's beer!"
> 22 "Man, talking about an ex can COMPLETELY eliminate the urge to beat
off." -- Bill Bradford
> 23 "There are millions of fine looking women in this world and not every
one will bring you lasanga at work. Most will just cheat on you" -- Silent
Bob
> 24 "Linux is to the computer industry what the karaoke bars is to
humanity... the closest thing to armageddon known to man."
> 25 "I am... I am... I am Superman... and I can do anything." -- REM
> 26 "[High shcool] has a pecking order that makes the caste system look
forgiving." -- <a href=http://thyla.org>Thyla</a>
> 27 "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, pinky?"
> "Yeah, but where can we get a Mac and a copy of Xenix at this time of
night?"
> 28 "Holy smokes! You need booze!" -- Dr. Nick Riviera
> 29 "I saw a female sargeant that could make anyone's privates stand at
attention!" -- Bill Blum (Sorry Bill, I know you don't wanna get in trouble,
but I have to give credit where credit is due!)
> 30 "You can't just grow old alone. Quitters lose. People that try get
laid." -- <Canine>
> 31 "But honestly, why would I need a building as a shrine? Then the
sacrifices and gifts can't be correctly offered or performed. I mean, what's
the use in sacrificing a cute female virgin, on a cold marble altar, when
she can just sacrifice her virginity with me???" -- Anders
> 32 "We all remember Mrs. Robinson but none of us remember Benjamin
Braddock. We all remember Lolita but we all forget Humbert."
> 33 "Meals Ready to Eat-- three lies in one!"
> 34 "I kind of like SGI's "Funk Soul Brother" remix of the Motif widgets."
> 35 "Silly slashdotters, UNIX is for gorwn-ups!"
> 36 "I've found you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After
that you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs!"
> 37 "One of the best uses for the Book of Mormon is to scare the Jehovah's
Witnessess off real quick!" -- <Gecka>
> 38 "There is nothing more embarassing than making a booty call to the
wrong girl." -- Erich (<needo>)
> 39 "Can you hammer a spike through a six inch board with your penis?" "Not
right now." "Well, a girl has got to have her standards, you know?" -- "Real
Genius"
> 40 "When there is a revolution, do they say Serf's up?" -- <a
href=http://www.theoddsock.com>Alice Conrad</a> <SunBug>
> 41 "You know, it's really unnerving to have your mother-in-law ICQ you
while you're looking an internet porn." -- <a
href="http://www.pinaeus.com">Charles Pineaus</a> <Scutter>
> 42 "EQ is the worst thing to happen to interpersonal relationships since
crack cocaine." -- <a href=http://www.ronin-reserach.org>Ardaniel Aran
Sunhemmer</a>
> 43 "And this visit by the TMI Fairy was brought to you by the letters B
and D, and by the number 69" -- Phil Turner
> 44 "Black fish, Goth fish
> Geek fish, BOFH fish"
> -- Dr Suess as an admin -- Phil Turner
> 45 "Tractors are great. They never get stuck. Until they do. Then you're
fucked." --<a href=http://www.pedxing.org>Jay</a>
> 46 "Valley girls don't use BSD."
> 47 <A href="http://www.holwegner.com">Shawn</a>: "Dude, the only way you'd
bag an 18 year old is with a cool car."
> Jon: "Why do you think I own not one, but <a href=/vette>two
corvettes</a>."
> 48 "Sparcs may not be able to cook, but you can't init 5 a wife. Though I
wish I could..." -- <a href=mailto:ed at the7thbeer.com>ed at the7thbeer.com</a>
> 49 "My housemate is a major Rush fan. He knows more about them than I do
Internet porn." -- <Paladine>
> 50 "Women are easy to study, if you have the right field of mathematics:
sadistics." -- <Tara_Li>
> 51 "Great, I have a trig mid-term tomorrow and I'm being chased by Guido
the killer pimp!"
> 52 "How can you come over to Katz's house on New Year's Eve and not expect
to hear anything perverted?"
> 53 <a href=http://www.theoddsock.com>Alice</a>: "[Jon, last night you
ranted] basically that a woman will bleed you dry for all your money and
leave you, a broken lonely shell of a man"
> Jon:"Sounds about right."
> Alice: "So is that a c shell or a bash shell?"
> Jon: "Korn"
> 54 Jon: I'm upset. I met this cool chick at a club last night and I lost
the paper she wrote her number on!
> <a href=http://www.david.com>David</a>: PALM. Write the numbers on your
palm!
> Jon: My hand or palm pilot?
> 55 "IRC Clients should have breathalyzers."
> 56 <newbie> Does Irix come with system monitoring tools?
> <Jon> Yeah, all versions of Unix ship with a vmstat command.
> <Tom> rofl
> <newbie> OK, vmstat and rofl, anything else?
> 57 "#@$@#$@# Dry shit! That's what I get for letting my roommate buy the
weed." -- Dylan
> 58 "I can't stand Jamie on the on the basis that's she's shallow and
annoying as fuck. But from a purely physical point of view, I'd lick her
like a tootsiepop." -- Josh
> 59 "The day I want Shawn proud of me will be the day I dunk my nuts in
battery acid while singing "Yellow Rose of Texas"." -- Greg
> 60 "The three most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love
you" rather, "She's not pregnant."" -- Josh
> 61 "Oh well I guess one good thing about being hopelessly single is that I
don't have to spend tons of cash except on my own toys. Which of course are
a nicer investment because machines dont dump you." -- Bill Schaub
> 62 "I imagine five years from now, someone will ask her about her scar,
and she'll say something about doing too much LCD in her youth." -- Bill
Blum on <a href=http://bugged1.com/car>the accident</a>.
> 64 "Kids dig the one in the <a
href="http://www.americantruss.com/orgz/anarchy/ext/secrets.html">blue
box</a> because it's the cheesiest" A <a href=http://www.kraft.com>Kraft
dinner</a> ad with a phreaky double-entendre.
> 65 "I thought VMS was a venerial disease!" <Conkle>
> 66 "If Jesus were to edit our tacacs file, I'd smack his ass down for not
using RCS." -- Greg
> 67 "Jason would try slipping 30pin simms into the stripper's g-string!" --
Josh
> 68 "I've never forgiven him for thinking I was a bot the first time he saw
me on efnet" -- Amy on her fiance Bill.
> 69 "Sure, and a Porsche 911 will beat a dump truck in the quarter mile
every time... unless, of course, you put 20 tons of dirt on each of them."
> 70 "Data flows about/meaningless rows with no use/a cartesian join"  -- A
database haiku by Llarian
> 71 "There is probably not a single person on this grubby planet who holds
a Ph.D. in physics but doesn't own at least one pair of rubber ears - and if
you really want to stump the attendees of any Star Trek convention,
interrupt some conversation about subatomic particles or time travel to ask
them who won last year's Superbowl ... or how to get a date."
> 72 "Jon, I'm telling you, one of these days you're going to catch
something from all that unfing." -- Sam McAdams
> 73 "I liked one of my ex's in a 2 piece. 1 piece was the left sock. Other
was the right sock." -- <nachtfae>
> 74 "And remember kids, "uNF!" is an anagram for "fun"  =)" -- <a
href=http://www.llarian.net>Dylan</a>
> 75 Josh: "Play it by ear/mouth?"
> Jon: "Ear, mouth, tongue... usually when her pants are on the floor of
your bedroom you know for sure [how she feels about you]."
> 76 "This isn't a beer belly, it's a gas tank for a sex machine!" -- John
> 77 "I had a 3 hour conversation with a girl in French on IRC the other
night. I don't speak a word of French. I love <a
href=http://www.babelfish.com>babelfish</a>." -- Wildcard
> 78 Jon: I know of nothing right now [tech jobs available]
> Anthony: Yeah... tech is fucked like an 18 year old virgin on e-bay.
>
>
> -Jon
> _______________________________________________
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