[geeks] 'Twas the night of the Network Implementation

[Fogg, James]

OK, I was bored last night and wrote this poem.
Note: any similarity to "The Night Before Christmas" is intentional.



Twas the night of the network implementation and all through the house, 
Not a circuit was working, we could not even a browse.

The netops crew hung by their screens in despair,
with hopes that a miracle would soon be there.

The users were nestled all sung in their beds,
while visions of high speed access danced in their heads.

When out in the wiring closet there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a deeply experienced network engineer.

His resume glowed with experience so rare,
he turned out great designs with a bit-slinger's flair.

More rapid than eagles, his configurations they came,
and he cursed and muttered and called them by name:

On Ethernet! on gigabit! on Spanning-Tree! on HDLC!
on protocols! on Carrier-Detect! on TCP/IP!

His eyes were glazed-over, fingers nimble and lean,
from weekends and nights in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye, and a twitch of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
turning specs into designs; then turned with a jerk;

And laying his finger upon the "ENTER" key,
the routers came up and worked perfectly.

The Ethernet linked; we had gigabit, Spanning_tree forwarded;
the protocols handshaked, we saw carrier-detect and TCP/IP routed.

He tested each link, and tested each gateway,
with nary an amend, and all would be well today.

The network was finished, the tests were concluded.
The new VPN users were even included.

And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a stare,
"I wanted it to be faster, it's just not fair!"